Today’s guest post is by UK-based strength coach Chris Kershaw and tackles a topic I strongly believe in: the rules we tell ourselves about training.
You’ve likely heard lines about what you “should” do—like I should add weight every week, I should train a certain number of days, or I should push through when I’m injured. These so‑called rules are just stories we tell ourselves, and you may fall into that trap too. If so, keep reading.
How Macho Bull and the Word “Should” Can Hold Back Your Training
For the past six months I’ve been trying to rebuild my squat to where it was before the pandemic. I fell into a rule-driven mindset that I “should” add weight to the bar every single week. That made up rule led to a steady string of back tweaks every six weeks. It was a rough stretch, and following silly, arbitrary rules only hurt me.
Why it matters to manage our relationship with these rules
If your gym performance defines your mood, you’re setting yourself up for big swings. A good session makes you feel great; a bad session can drag you down. The goal isn’t to become perfect or to chase an endless standard.
We all get older, and performance will dip at times. If you base your self‑worth on gym numbers, you’ll run into problems. Recognizing the “should” rules helps you stay mostly positive, keep your mental health in check, and avoid big training-or-burnout dips.
Understanding these rules also helps you train smarter. Better decisions mean less self-sabotage. It won’t solve every problem, but it can help you train longer without getting hurt, handle rehab with less resentment, and show up more often throughout the year.
So-called “should” rules that aren’t real rules
1. I should lift more weight every week
That’s macho nonsense. You can’t keep increasing every week. Often you’ll lift the same or less. With a solid plan, numbers will rise over time. Forcing weekly increases almost always leads to frustration or injury.
2. I should lift more in competition than in the gym
Some people lift more in the gym than in competition, others the opposite. It’s wise to compete a few times before chasing a massive PR on the big stage.
3. I shouldn’t get injured
You’re not invincible. Injuries happen. Do everything you can to recover and reduce risk, but you can’t prevent every injury.
4. Deadlift should be bigger than squat
Not necessarily. Some top lifters have bigger squats than deadlifts. Your squat and deadlift may progress at different speeds. Build solid technique in both and progress with a consistent mindset.
5. Front squats are essential
Only include front squats if they fit your sport and aren’t causing problems. If they irritate your knees, don’t force them—switch to safer alternatives like safety-bar squats, goblet squats, or leg presses.
6. Low bar squats are the only way
If your low bar technique hurts or doesn’t work for you, stop doing it and find a variation you can do well.
7. Sumo deadlifts are mandatory
If sumo deadlifts irritate your hips, switch to another deadlift style that suits you. There are plenty of options, like rack pulls or block pulls, that may work better.
8. You must max out every session
Maxing out all the time invites injury and burnout. Save max attempts for a competition or a planned day. It’s better to train hard and progress steadily than to burn out trying to max each time.
9. You should take pre-workout before every session
Pre-workout can be useful in moderation, but overuse can fuel anxiety and disrupt recovery. A simple coffee or sugar‑free energy drink often works better for many people.
10. You must be able to train hard all the time
Life happens—sleep matters, injuries occur, and illnesses happen. Most sessions will be average; some will be poor. You have to cope with that if you want long-term success.
11. You must train a specific number of times per week
From years of work with people like you, the sweet spot is usually 3–4 sessions of 30–90 minutes. Pushing beyond that often leads to under‑recovery and more injuries. Mix in light cardio on off days.
12. You should train through injury or illness
You can train around an injury with careful exercise selection and rehab. Rest when you’re sick to avoid spreading it and to recover faster; continue with caution if you’re dealing with a chronic condition, and adjust as needed.
Conclusion
Good training comes from many good decisions. Clinging to “should” rules can derail those decisions and lead to worse choices. When you start training, you’ll encounter these temptations. By avoiding rules that aren’t real rules, you’ll train more consistently, be more productive, and feel less stressed. That’s a good thing.
About the author
Chris Kershaw is a certified personal trainer based in Leeds, England. Known as The Heavy Metal Strength Coach, he helps clients improve their lives through weightlifting and coaching. He works with clients to improve their lives via the barbell (and sometimes the kettlebell).
