Women are often asked, “Why should I be fit?” For many men, the answer centers on getting swole, strong, and jacked. For many women, the language around fitness tends to focus on being lean, slim, toned, or thin. In short, being fit is frequently framed as becoming smaller. This contrasts with the mindset most men are exposed to—more, not less. My wife, Dr. Lisa Lewis, calls this a Growth Orientation.
Rather than chasing constant weight loss, I’d like to see more women embrace what I call 3×52: three days a week in the gym, 52 weeks a year. The goal is consistency and performance. When a client finally conquers a chin-up, or deadlifts their bodyweight, or simply trains consistently and with confidence, the cosmetic goals often take care of themselves or fade into the background. The bigger win is the ability to train with purpose and enjoyment.
Motivation matters. In the classic discussion of intrinsic motivation, it’s described as an internal state that energizes and guides action. The fitness industry, especially for women, often leans on external factors—appearance, sex appeal, being smaller. That isn’t entirely bad; seeing fitness celebrities or magazine covers can be motivating. But it’s also superficial. People may sacrifice social life or favorite foods in pursuit of a certain look, only to feel unsatisfied when the goal is reached. The key is to help clients uncover intrinsic drivers that sustain long-term effort: how exercise feels, how it aligns with their values, and how it helps them become the best version of themselves. When motivation comes from within, long-term consistency becomes more possible.
So, how do we boost motivation? Here’s a practical approach in three parts:
1) Facilitate intrinsic motivation
Being a thoughtful, intuitive coach matters. I love barbell lifts, but I don’t force every client into back squats if that movement doesn’t fit them. If someone would rather avoid a particular exercise, I work to match their goals with activities they’ll actually want to do. Maybe goblet squats or sled work fit better. If I can identify a client’s strengths and make them feel capable and confident, we’re in a good place.
2) Highlight ways to grow
Autonomy should be the goal: help clients eventually manage their own plans. Always listen to their goals and build plans around them, leaving room for change or even abandonment if needed. A common reason people fail with trainers is a lack of education and feedback that builds competence. Good coaching explains why each exercise matters, its benefits, and how it moves them toward their goals. Meet clients where they are and ensure they feel capable of doing the work.
3) Build relatedness
The relationship with clients is central to success. Be mindful of social needs and context. For example, when training multiple clients together, it’s wise to consider whether pairing a timid new client with a more intense partner is helpful. Creating a supportive, relatable environment helps clients stay engaged and feel understood.
Taken together, these steps move the focus away from “less” and toward growth: more confidence, more autonomy, more competence, and more strength. For coaches, the aim is to build genuine connections with clients, not just chase numbers. Intrinsic motivation is the engine that sustains effort over time, even when progress isn’t dramatic every week.
In the end, the emphasis should be on growth and lasting engagement rather than chasing a sliding external ideal. This approach helps clients stay motivated, engaged, and resilient on their fitness journey.
