Time to Woman Up
In six years of coaching mostly women, I’ve seen only a handful walk into the gym and attack their workouts with no self-doubt or fear, while earning real admiration for the effort involved. They often underestimate the brute strength inside them and what their bodies can do. Tapping into that strength can help them build lean, vibrant bodies and a mental toughness that benefits them far beyond the gym.
From the start, these ideas aren’t appealing. The notion that men and women should train differently is nonsense. Everyone should push, pull, squat, lunge, and hinge, but women often come to exercise with different cultural, social, and psychological motivations.
It’s up to you as a coach, mentor, or friend to challenge those motivations and provide the right tools to develop a mindset strong enough to drive lasting change toward a healthier approach to changing their bodies.
Note that I’m not talking about women who already love rolling around in chalk, getting bruised, and chasing heavy lifts for fun. I’m referring to the average female client who just wants to lose fat and gain confidence. This group has often been misinformed about how to change their bodies and may lack belief in themselves.
What holds this group back is what goes on in their heads.
They’ve grown up thinking they can’t be physically and mentally strong. They live with self-loathing shaped by edited photos, magazines that treat them as weak, and an industry that tells them they should always tone, fix, and punish their bodies.
It’s up to you, as the coach who works with women, to cut through the noise they face outside the gym.
Fortunately, the strength we gain in the gym shows up in other parts of life—in mindset, character, and a stronger sense of self. If we give female clients the tools to express that strength, we can help them see how strong and powerful they are, sift through the nonsense, and spark meaningful, lasting changes in their lives.
Here are a few strategies I use with my female clients.
1. Listen to and educate them.
If you’re naturally a good listener, you’re already ahead. Trust grows when you listen to their concerns, wants, and needs. Reassure them that their goals are valid, challenge any unhelpful fitness beliefs, and simply educate them.
Knowledge is empowering. When female clients understand proper strength training and sensible nutrition, they’re less likely to chase quick fixes or gimmicks like Piloxing or 30-day squat challenges.
2. Revamp their perspective.
A positive mindset gives them more control over their choices. Help them understand that a sustainable, effective nutrition and training plan should add value to their bodies and make them feel good. Chasing fatigue and soreness, and strict restriction in the kitchen, usually backfires.
Teach them to view exercise as a way to become more capable, powerful, and bold—as opposed to a continual struggle against their bodies. Striving for performance is more fruitful than chasing calories burned.
I have my clients set realistic strength goals, like doing 10 real push-ups or deadlifting 200 pounds. Working toward these goals makes workouts more engaging and motivates them to fuel their bodies properly. Momentum builds each time a small goal is reached, and they begin to see the changes from consistency.
3. Believe in them.
Many women have been shaped by circuit workouts, weak-diet advice, and the belief that they need special exercises. The idea of a real chin-up or deadlifting 1.5x their body weight may never cross their mind, so confidence can be low.
It’s up to you to show them these are not only feasible, but also effective ways to reach their goals. Most women are full of self-doubt, so they often need a gentle push to add a bit more weight to the bar, grab heavier dumbbells, or push harder on the sled.
Let them know you have honest confidence in their abilities. Their belief in themselves will grow, and they’ll start asking to go heavier.
4. Encourage self-awareness.
We live in a world that’s always rushing, and many people operate on autopilot. Pausing to think about what you’re doing and why can be crucial for progress.
My female clients tend to be high-strung and benefit from stepping back, reflecting, and taking charge with deliberate choices. Before each session, I do a quick readiness check—soreness, energy, what they’ve eaten, how they slept. For some, this is the only time they’ve paused to consider these things. Encourage them to be compassionate and non-judgmental about what they discover.
5. Motivate through self-love.
If a woman uses negative body image as her sole motivation, her efforts may not last. But changing that isn’t simply telling her to love her body.
Often, discomfort with the body stems from deeper issues. This is why some women achieve dramatic transformations yet remain unhappy. We can help by reducing negative self-talk, viewing setbacks as learning experiences, and guiding them to care for their bodies rather than fighting against them.
Most importantly, keep them lifting heavy.
While some clients may need more coaching, they aren’t delicate. There’s great reward in helping women fall in love with their strength and feel empowered through what their bodies can do.
If you’d like more female-specific fitness advice, reach Erika at Erika@HurstStrength.com or visit her gym’s website, blog, or Facebook page.
