One of my least favorite sayings is “everything in moderation.” It sounds wise, but it often leaves you mediocre at almost everything. The simple truth is that saying yes to one thing means saying no to something else. We all have the same 24 hours, no matter who we are. Life becomes a series of choices about how we spend our time. It’s important to dedicate time to each of our roles, but trying to do everything in moderation can dilute your effort and your outcomes.
Think of your life as a set of roles: bodybuilder, husband, son, brother, friend, and medical professional. Most people can relate to having several meaningful roles. At the core, they are sport, family, friends, and work.
When you walk a tightrope, you don’t stay perfectly straight the whole way. You lean and adjust with each step, keeping balance as you go. A plane on a flight doesn’t glide on a straight line either; the pilot makes small up-and-down, left-and-right adjustments to stay on course. Life works the same way: a balancing act with small shifts as you move forward. There will be times you need to grind in one area to advance in another.
Sometimes that means you’ll have to push hard in a specific area—sport, family, or work. There are moments when you’ll need to devote 100% to one role to achieve something big. Yes, you may be sacrificing in the moment, but you’re not falling—you’re simply leaning.
A quick note on “grind”: this is usually temporary. If you’re grinding all the time, it’s worth asking whether you can work more efficiently or differently, because there are always people who are busier and more accomplished who still find time for training, family, and other commitments. So ask yourself: is this grind really necessary, or can you organize your day better?
If you’re training for a bodybuilding show, you’ll have to grind. Training, nutrition, and sleep will pull you away from other parts of life for a while. If there’s a death in the family, a birthday, a holiday, or a family tradition, you lean toward family, knowing that saying yes to family means saying no to other roles. If there’s a big project at work you care about, you’ll grind there, knowing that work time takes precedence for a period.
How do we make it all work? The key is to be truly present in the area you’re focusing on and give it your full effort. People may not always understand why you’re so passionate about bodybuilding, family, or that project, and that’s okay. Being fully present in the moment reduces friction. Thinking about training during time with family or worrying about family while you’re at work won’t help either domain. Likewise, you shouldn’t miss a family event to finish a work task if you’re not going to be fully present with your family in that moment. You’ll end up being mediocre in both arenas.
A helpful framework is to think of deposits into each role’s “account” rather than a constant ledger of sacrifices. Stephen Covey’s idea of an emotional bank account applies here as a “role bank account.” When you’re fully present and engaged, you make deposits into each role. If you’re distracted, you don’t deposit—and you risk debt in that relationship.
What counts as deposits?
– For bodybuilding: meal prep ahead of time, sticking to your macros at social events, maintaining form when fatigue hits, and getting solid sleep.
– For family and work: kindness, going the extra mile, honesty, doing favors without expecting anything in return, being present and listening, showing empathy, saying “I love you,” apologizing sincerely, and more.
By making these deposits, you can grind in one area without hurting the others. Go build up those accounts.
Don’t fall. Leaning too far in one direction for too long breaks the balance. If you neglect the core principles, you’ll fall, and no amount of counterbalance will help. It’s okay to grind occasionally. You’re not a bad person—you’re someone who aims to excel in all areas. Sometimes sacrifice and grind are necessary to reach big goals.
Take this with a grain of salt. I don’t claim to have all the answers, and I may change my mind in the future. But for now, I believe that everything in moderation leads to mediocrity. Occasional grinding, paired with confidence and steady deposits into your role accounts, can help you achieve balanced excellence across all your roles. Don’t settle for mediocre. Go after it.
