My wife walked out of her office the other day and stopped in her tracks, as if she’d walked onto the opening scene of a crime show. There I was, sprawled on the living room floor, motionless.
“Are you okay? Are you sick or something?” she asked.
“No, I’m not sick,” I replied. “Today’s workout was brutal. I can’t move. I just need a few more minutes for my soul to reenter my body.”
“Oh, okay then. That’s nice, babe. Don’t forget to put your gym bag back where it belongs.”
What can I say? What we have is true love. But more importantly, this moment offers a useful lens on motivation and how it shapes our commitment to regular exercise.
HOW TO MOTIVATE YOUR CLIENTS
What I described isn’t an exaggeration. I’d just finished a brutal session, pushing near max on the big three lifts—squat, bench, and deadlift—despite having deadlifted hard the day before. It was a split I wasn’t used to, and by the time I got home I felt wiped out, like I’d been through the wringer.
I knew going in I’d feel terrible afterward, and I did, but I did it anyway. Not because I wanted to feel awful, but because skipping it would clash with who I am. Training is part of my identity, just like my taste in 90s hip-hop, the groutfit look, or choosing chicken at a seafood restaurant.
This kind of motivation is called Integrated Regulation. It describes many coaches and clients who would rather skip a workout than miss one. It’s admirable, but it isn’t the be-all and end-all of motivation. Motivation comes in many forms, and as coaches we should not fixate on a single standard. Instead, we should embrace whatever extrinsic reason motivates our clients—looking better, following a doctor’s advice, or simply enjoying tacos. All are valid motivations and should be supported.
Another point, which my colleague Derek Stanley recently wrote about, is that discipline is often seen as the key factor behind motivation. “I wasn’t motivated to train, but I did it anyway.” That’s a strong sign of motivation—part of one’s identity and a willingness to show up, not just a brag on social media.
Derek notes that the idea of “just do it” can be well-meaning but unhelpful. The underlying message is that success hinges on discipline, and if you miss workouts you’re lazy. But the bigger truth is that if you’re thinking about working out, you already have motivation—you have the juice. If motivation weren’t present, you wouldn’t even notice it on your radar.
Fitness pros should ease off the hardline stance. Motivation and behavior change exist on a spectrum and rarely come down to willpower alone. Your clients are motivated; you’re just not always recognizing it.
HOW TO MOTIVATE & FACILITATE CHANGE
There are only a few days left to take advantage of the sale price for Psych Skills for Fitness Pros. (Sale ends Sunday, 3/13.)
This course, developed by my wife, is designed to help coaches, trainers, and PTs better understand motivation and become more well-rounded professionals. If you’re looking for something beyond the usual focus on sets, reps, stability, mobility, or other nuts-and-bolts aspects of training, this might be for you.
In the course, you will learn and gain skills for:
1) Leveraging your clients’ motivation,
2) Progressing clients to encourage positive behavior change,
3) Working through barriers to change, loss of motivation, and other psychological challenges that always arise in coaching.
