People are often surprised when I say I’m an introvert. Being an introvert is part of a spectrum—no one is 100% introverted or 100% extroverted. Most of us are a mix of both.
A common misconception is that introversion goes with depression or sadness. When I searched for an image to go with this post, I typed “introvert” into WordPress’s image search and was surprised to see image after image of people who looked dejected, anti-social, or outright unhappy. The point is simple: being introverted just means you likely need a bit more downtime to recharge.
I remember when my wife and I first started dating. I’d just finished a full day of coaching and was exhausted. All I wanted to do was collapse on the couch and watch TV. But Lisa had already planned a night out with her friends at a lounge in downtown Boston. Ten minutes in, I struggled to engage, giving one-word answers as she and her friends tried to talk with me. “Tony, you’re a personal trainer?” Yes. “How long have you been doing that?” Awhile. “So, what do you think about keto?” I grabbed a beer bottle, and the night took a turn. By the end, we had our first real argument. I explained that after eight hours of coaching I didn’t want to go to a bar and listen to loud music. We came to a better understanding of each other’s needs.
Being a coach—constantly surrounded by noise and nonstop interaction—can be draining. An introvert often needs the opposite: time to recharge before the next day. This doesn’t mean we dislike social activities. In our free time we generally prefer to:
– Read a book
– Enjoy plenty of time with our pets
Coaches often ask how to avoid energy burnout during long workdays with many clients. It’s not necessary to hide away or sneak a nap in a closet. It’s about balancing energy. Don’t feel you have to be the loud, high-energy coach to be seen as effective. Most clients don’t want or need a performative show.
Be proactive about taking breaks throughout the day. Quick 15–30 minute windows of solitude can help, especially on long days. If you’ve got a full schedule, consider fitting in your own training session mid-day. And most importantly, don’t fall for the idea that you must be performative to be legitimate. That may get you a few likes, but it won’t help your energy or your coaching.
Make sure you give yourself ample “me time” when you need it. Whether that means binging a show at home, going to the movies, hanging out at a bookstore or cafe, or pursuing a hobby, do what recharges you. All being an introvert means is that you likely require more solo time to reenergize. Lean into it. It’ll help you stay engaged as a coach, and your clients will benefit.
So, hello, fellow introvert. If you’re more extroverted, that’s fine too—be true to your real self. For those who identify as more introverted, forcing yourself into a role you’re not comfortable with won’t help.
